Since I’ve gotten in trouble for speaking out in certain WhatsApp groups (I got kicked out), I decided to share my thoughts here, out in the open, where no one can tell me what to do or say.
Let’s start with the premise of this story: Shiphrah and Puah.
Who are they?
A few months ago, I was talking with God about womanhood, submission, and what it means to portray Biblical femininity, and God said something that genuinely confused and amused me.
He started by leading me to Exodus 1, sharing the details of two Hebrew midwives who decided to disobey orders coming directly from Pharaoh, then later lied to Pharaoh’s men about the orders that were given to them.
Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah, 16“When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women and see them on the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live.” 17But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live. 18So the king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them, “Why have you done this, and let the male children live?” 19The midwives said to Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.” 20So God dealt well with the midwives. And the people multiplied and grew very strong. 21And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families. 22Then Pharaoh commanded all his people, “Every son that is born to the Hebrews you shall cast into the Nile, but you shall let every daughter live.”
Exodus 1:15-22 ESV
Interestingly, He told me these two women decided that their obedience to God mattered more than what any man would tell them, and if it meant deceiving these men to do the right thing, then that’s what it took.
His final word was that I wasn’t called to be ‘obedient’ or ‘submissive’ or even ‘righteous’ before any man. My obedience, submission, and righteousness are to God alone.
God told me that the midwives’ actions weren’t isolated incidents. In fact, throughout Scripture, women were rewarded and honored by God for going against what a man ordered them to do.
- Abigail went behind her husband’s back.
- Noah instituted a new law protecting women
- Vashti said ‘no’
- Rehab lied to the guards.
- Esther disobeyed the King’s commands.
- Jael killed a ruthless king
- Deborah led a nation
- Mary accepted God’s plan without consulting her husband
And the list could go on.
Each of these women didn’t let social constructs derail them from obeying God, even if it meant disobeying the authority in their lives. However … interestingly enough, even though we can see this plainly, we somehow believe that this only goes as far as secular authority.
I asked, “Then what should my morals look like if it’s okay to disobey, deceive, and rebel against men, when doing so for God?”
It was a difficult question because as women, we’re taught the art of being silent and submissive. We’re deterred from speaking up, punished for crying out, and told we should be modest and controlled at all times.
We’re called to submit, but who are we submitting to?
We’re called to be silent, but what are we being silent about?
If Esther had stayed silent, her people would’ve perished by the hands of a man. If Abigail didn’t disobey her husband, her entire household would’ve been killed.
If the midwives didn’t ignore the Pharaoh’s commands, the Hebrews would be nothing but a thought.
We could perhaps make the reasonable argument that submission and silence are done in reverence to God, but when God’s authority is often conflated with man’s authority, submission and surrender often allow for control, manipulation, and coercion to creep in.
Unfortunately, the hardest place to obey God is in the church, because when obedience to God looks like disobedience to church leadership and authority, it gets very messy.
When surrendering to God’s instruction looks a lot like disrupting narcissistic systems, calling out sin, correcting ungodly behavior, and challenging manipulative leaders, it leaves room for the church to label that woman as rebellious, difficult, problematic, and unsubmissive.
She’s now ‘sowing seeds of discord’, ‘having a Jezebel spirit’, ‘divisive’, ‘out of order’, and so much more.
I’ve been told that fixing the church’s reputation was more important than dealing with the issue that troubled me. I was told my reaction was inappropriate for speaking out about manipulative and disrespectful tactics.
I’ve been told that I need to ‘publicly apologize’. I’ve been told that I was a ‘trigger’, a ‘problem’, an ‘issue’. By church people.
However, in my tears to God, He said to me, “I’m still here.” In fact, when God corrected me, He didn’t correct what I said or how I said it. He made it clear that while what I said was true, He corrected me on one issue: disobeying Him.
He said to me:
“I’m not angry at you for what you said to the church or how you said it. I’m actually disappointed that it got this far, because the first time you went to that church [over three years ago], I gave you direct orders and you disobeyed Me. I warned you of the cult-like behavior; I warned you not to get too involved with the church. But because you wanted to fit in, you kept pushing more and more, and so, to protect you, I made them reject you, not because you’re unworthy, but because I saw things that you didn’t see. I knew things that you didn’t know.”
Now, looking back, I fully understand what God meant when He told me, “Your obedience to Me will cause you to be disobedient to man.”
Now, the church’s women’s ministry is currently studying various women in Scripture. They started with Shiphrah and Puah. Some people believe that the midwives’ decision to go against Pharaoh was an easy one, but that choice could’ve cost them their lives.
Sometimes, a simple message like this may seem encouraging, but fails to acknowledge the truth behind the story.
In fact, it caused the Pharaoh to make his law stricter. Those two women were blessed, but I can’t help but imagine the terror Pharaoh’s new law brought.
If they had sons, Pharaoh’s people would come in and drown those baby boys, and every day, they had to live with how their decision to honor God disrupted an entire system, created more tears, and triggered more deaths.
The leader of the women’s ministry painted the midwives’ decision as something easy to do, not highlighting that obedience to God, especially as a woman, can be detrimental to the systems that manipulators build, both inside and outside the body of Christ.
In our obedience to God, we may be disobedient, rebellious, and unsubmissive to men, but ultimately God has our heart, and He guides our steps.
I may be divisive, unsubmissive, disobedient, and rebellious to you, but it is to God I surrender.
Signed,
About
Written by R. ‘Nickay’ Headlam
Nickay is a writer and designer who grew up in the British Virgin Islands. Her passion for art, design, and writing grew into a blog, now called The RAVYN Blog, where she writes about her Christian journey, theology, current events, art and design, and fashion.
Strengthen your faith and grow with God. Get new bible-study content delivered right to your inbox.
