I’ll admit … I feel frustrated when the things I want from God don’t happen right away.
It’s even more frustrating when others around you succeed, growing in their blessings while I am stuck (or at least, I feel that way). There were nights I cried, prayed, wondered, or even grew resentful because, honestly, why am I still here, struggling, while others seem to thrive like a plant?
I take a look through everything I’ve done right (and everything I think I did wrong), and wonder: what’s wrong with me? Am I not praying hard enough? Am I not trying hard enough? Is it doubt, lack of faith, or even the simple thought of envy and resentment that flows through my mind?
I try to ‘pray’ those sins away, but somehow, they come back, lurking in the deepest corners of my heart … and truly, I don’t want to be that way.
I want to be happy for those who found success, but I still ask…
Why is it not happening for me?
The Fall Away
It seems as though everything I put my hands to falls apart.
Last year (December), God told me that He was bringing me a year of restoration. How excited I was to hear that! But … as He continued to talk to me, I began to realize that restoration, at least to God, doesn’t necessarily mean everything going your way.
The Spirit revealed something to me that I found interesting. When God restores, He makes it better, and sometimes to make something better than it was, it needs to be broken and pulled apart. I realized then that there was much more work to be done.
Yet … even while knowing this, the sense of unease and impatience still cluttered me. Doesn’t He see that I need this thing *now*? How will I pay my bills or help out in the church? How will I make myself useful if I’m still here, in the wilderness waiting?
Saddened, with a heavy heart, and frankly, heartbroken, I fall away.
October 2025
Every time I walk into church as a single person, I see people my age and younger thriving. I’m unsure what to make of it because it felt so surreal, but at the same time, I was lonely.
People my age were coupled up with each other, dating, doing ministry, spreading the Gospel, and being a force for Christ. But both God and I knew something. He’d given me the spirit of discernment, simply so that I could see that not every vision of success is ordained by God.
He’d given me a word in October 2025: “I DON’T BLESS MESS.”
And this is what He meant:
Fret not yourself because of evildoers; nor be envious of workers of iniquity. For they shall be soon cut down like the grass and wither as the green herb.
Psalms 37:1-2
Waiting Patiently for God
God was saying, those who prosper in their evil are not blessed by God. They know it; He knows it. The difference is that those who trust in God must wait patiently for Him. This same Psalm emphasizes that God wants us to rest in Him, to wait patiently.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret—it only causes harm.
Psalms 37:7-8 NKJV
But sometimes patience feels daunting, especially when your life goes on like a ticking clock. “Wait,” He says, but bills and rent still need to be paid. “Wait,” He says, but your biological clock is ticking as you yearn for a child. “Wait,” He says, but your desires aren’t getting any weaker. “Wait,” He says, but you grow more tired by the moment. And still, He says, “Wait!”
But God has an amazing way of explaining why we wait.
The Inheritance
We don’t wait because God can’t do the miracle right now. We wait because…
For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while, and the wicked shall be no more; indeed, you will look carefully for his place, but it shall be no more. But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
Psalms 37:9-11
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says:
“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”
Matthew 5:5 ESV
The word ‘meek’ in both Greek and Hebrew refers to one who is afflicted or burdened, not merely because of physical hardships, but due to personal endurance, restraining their strength for a greater good. It refers to humility and total dependency on God, even during affliction.
Jesus blesses the meek, not the mess.
What Brings Restoration
In Psalms 37, evildoers seek to gain through whatever means necessary. Even in the church, they boast of their positions, strive to please, and do whatever it takes to get a title or a position. But both Psalms 37 and Matthew 5 make it clear: these are inheritances, promised to those who commit their ways to God.
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Psalms 37:3-6 NKJV
Those who commit to God, delight in God, will have what they ask for come to pass. For God is not unjust. He sees and notices the efforts of His children.
I was especially thrilled when I read that the meek will delight themselves in the abundance of peace. In Hebrew, the word peace is ‘shalom’, which means ‘to make whole, or to restore’. This is when I realize what God was saying. In my meekness and full dependency on God, He will restore me.
The psalmist goes on to say:
I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread. He is ever merciful and lends, and his descendants are blessed.
Psalms 37:25-26 NKJV
In our waiting, God will still take care of us. In our waiting, God is merciful and compassionate. The psalmist urges us to wait on the Lord and keep His way. When the wicked are cut off, we will see it.
We don’t desire to see the wicked brought down, but we understand through it why we wait on God’s timing.
The Meek vs. The Mess
Whenever we ask God for His blessing, we must ensure that we’re committed to Him, that we wait on Him, and that we trust Him. Our will must align with His will, because…
God will never bless anything born out of sin.
If our hands strive to deliberately go against God’s timing, He won’t bless it. It may, for a season, seem successful, but in due time, it will wither.
Psalms 37 is a warning to those who prosper through disobedience, sin, and wicked schemes. But it is a reassurance to those who are steadfast and faithful to God’s plan.
To be truthful, I’m still struggling to see the fruits of my labor; I’m still waiting. Most of us who are faithful and dedicated to God’s plans are in this same situation, but we remember: God’s plan for us is greater than anything we can imagine, and great plans take time.
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