Whenever I ran into a problematic situation, I would find myself saying to God, “But YOU said…”
“But YOU said XYZ would happen.”
But YOU said it will all work out.”
“But YOU said I was called to do this.”
And every time I yelled those words at Him, He would respond in a still, calm voice: “I did promise you these things, but I never promised you it would be easy.”
Sometimes I Hold to the Complaints and not the Promises…
What should’ve taken the Israelites forty days in the desert ended up being a forty-year experience, and in the end, some didn’t even get to see the promised land. They spent most of their journey complaining about it, and through this story, God taught me that often, the situation He places us in is seasonal and temporary.
What I never want is to be stuck in is the mindset of treating a season that was meant to be temporary like it was the permanent destination.
One day, through my tears and frustrations, I remembered saying to God, “I’m looking at this situation right now, and I simply don’t know how you’re going to get me out of it, but you seem to always make a way where there is none, so I’ll trust you on this.”
Those words aren’t easy to say, and most definitely, they’re harder to put into action. But … truth be told, I have actually seen when God made a way through what seemed to me like a dead-end.
It was when I said those words, when I told Him that whatever the outcome was, I would trust Him, was when things finally began to fall into place.
Asking God, “What Did I Do Wrong?”
This journey has been … something.
What I never want is to be stuck in is the mindset of treating a season that was meant to be temporary like it was the permanent destination.
There were ups and downs, ins and outs, trials of all sorts.
There was a time when I was being attacked at my workplace, and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.
I mean, I was going to God every second asking, “What did I do wrong?” and the Still Voice would always reply, “Nothing.”
I have Imposter’s Syndrome, but God called me to be excellent, telling me that I have a ‘spirit of excellence’, and yet, I kept hiding behind the shadows.
Consistency is What You Need…
For some years now, God said to me, “Consistency is what you need,” but consistency was painful because at every turn, when all my efforts seemed in vain, I felt worthless, even though God was saying the opposite.
So, when God gave me these promises, said to me that He called me to do great things, that He wanted me to push forward in the talents I had, I always held back for two reasons: I didn’t think I was good enough, and I didn’t see the fruits of my labor fast enough.
At every turn, there was some roadblock, some obstacle that always threw me off.
For example, I was supposed to do some YouTube videos, but I hadn’t gotten around to them because of things like not having the right equipment, computer issues, fear that people would reject me, and the list goes on…
I was supposed to write some blogs, but I said things like I didn’t have enough time, I had to get my classrooms together, I was too tired to organize it, and the list goes on…
I still have a novel to finish, and I finally found the urge to rewrite a part of my work that had been aching me for some time. Still, when God told me I should query the book, I replied that it wouldn’t work because I would get rejected, they would want to change the story, they wouldn’t allow me to retain control over my work, and the list goes on…
What I’m trying to say is that at every step, every instruction I was given, I had a perfect excuse not to want to do it.
So, here’s to me taking some sort of accountability.
The Next Step
Whenever I ran into a problematic situation, I would find myself saying to God, “But YOU said…”
“But YOU said XYZ would happen.”
But YOU said it will all work out.”
“But YOU said I was called to do this.”
But truly, whenever I ran into a problem that was God deciding whether or not I was faithful enough to Him to keep on trying, to keep pushing through NO MATTER the situation.
Signed,
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
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