Patience is Better Than Pride | Divine Diaries (Mar 21, 2023)

How should I deal with disappointments and challenges?

Or, better yet, how should I respond appropriately to let-downs? I’m sure everyone else has gone through it—not just me. Disappointments, let-downs, cancellations, no-shows, and last-minute changes.

This morning, I woke up confident in my prayers: I asked God to give me direction on how to handle a few students and to give me strength, grace, and compassion. I prayed for peace and patience, hoping the day would be calm—and it did start off that way.

The verse that stood out to me the most was John 16:33

“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

And also, Proverbs 25:15

“With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.”

Proverbs 25:15

The saying often goes that if you ever pray for patience, God will put challenges before you to strengthen your heart, help you develop patience, and find peace in the midst of a storm. I hadn’t anticipated—or planned for—a major disruption. A change of tides that would knock me off my feet.

Yet, that was what happened today. After finally getting some time to finalize the edits of the test that I’d set for my students, I saw the message come in … cancel the test … the deadline has passed.

How could a deadline that I didn’t know about pass? How could I deny my students another opportunity to do better and raise their grades? How could I accept this sort of change? I’d asked what I could do, but after shedding tears, on the verge of giving up, I realized that it was over.

As overwhelmed as I was, I understood that the HOD had it hard, yet I wasn’t ready to give up. Not yet, not like this.

I was angry. Angry at my HOD for burdening me with her problems, making it seem as though I was to blame, and I was the issue. I was angry at God for not answering my prayer, for not listening to me. I was angry at myself for not meeting the deadline, for waiting too long. I was angry at the school for being disorganized. I was angry at the department for forcing me into a situation that they knew I couldn’t handle.

I was angry and…

I had to get away because I needed clarity. I’d prayed for direction and wisdom, but how would I know what to do?

A little time to myself gave me a bit of insight—clarity, so to speak. The story of Daniel and his friends came to me, when they were told to eat the king’s meat, but Daniel and his friends refused, opting for vegetables and water instead.

And thus, instruction came. Go back, and instead of giving this end-of-term as a test, give it as a non-graded assignment and use it to see how the students fare. It was so simple, in fact, I realized that if I’d stayed on campus, among the noise and clutter, it wouldn’t have come to me—direction.

In the midst of trials, there would be a test of patience.

Ecclesiastes says this

The end of a matter is better than its beginning,
and patience is better than pride.
⁹Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

Signed,